Whole lot of to much Christmas Going On

  Did I prepare him enough for today? Should I have done more? Would it have been better if we had stayed home? I am left asking myself the above questions tonight.
  Today was not a failure at all. The children sleep in a bit (3:45 am.), which was nice but still extremely early. I did get up with them because I wanted to see the joy on their faces when they discovered what Santa had brought them. Now looking back on this morning there were some clues that today was going to be a bit much for him. The big clue being, Major stimming and stomping with the excitement over his new RC car, books, and video games.
  I had hoped that all would go well at my sister-in-law's, but as the day progressed things went down hill fast for Major. It is hard to explain and for people outside of the autism world to truly understand, but it was truly just to much for him. It was to chaotic, which it should be with six kids running around high off of all the presents they had just received. After a while my heart just broke for Major. I could physically feel what he was going through. Multiple times he got loud and yelled at the other children. He even tried to physically strike out a few times, but luckily we intervened. I tried on multiple occasions to get him to retreat upstairs to play the Wii but her refused, because he wanted to be in the action (even though it was to much). Major did manage to go outside a few times and escape with his daddy, which did seem to help a bit. As the afternoon progressed and Major continued to unravel, I looked at my husband and decided it was time to leave. We couldn't get home quick enough to his safe zone. He feel apart in the car and cried, pleading to some how get home instantly. Again my heart broke for him. I love him so much and wish I could just take it all away. As my profile picture on facebook says, "Autism isn't for wimps."
 

Sensory/ To Go Bag

  I am getting tired of being stuck in my house. I am bound and determined not to let autism win. In all honesty it is VERY difficult for us to "venture" out of the house. Major's autism and sensory issues overload not only Major but me also. Due to the overload, in the past we have not gotten out much, besides the occasional appointments and therapies. I am learning (slowly) how to prepare ahead of time so I stand a better chance in having a successful outing (even if its just for therapy or doctors appointments). I have learned if there is a big appointment, trip, or errand I will write a social story. I try to do this a few days ahead of time so Major can read and go over it numerous times. I like to use pictures in the social story. If I can I will visit the place before hand and by myself so I can take actual pictures of the place and incorporate them into his social story. This has proven to be pretty successful.
  My latest success is creating a Sensory/ To Go Bag. The bag itself is just a regular everyday backpack. Below is a list of what I traditionally carry in the bag.

• CD player and headphones
• a portable DVD player and movies
• fidgets
• coloring book and crayons
• a book
• his weighted vest
• a change of clothes for him
• snack and a drink
• noise canceling head phones
• soon to be added (I hope) an Ipad
• portable PECs schedule

Having the To Go bag with me at all times when I am out with Major has gotten us out of some rough situations and has avoided some big meltdowns. I am not trying to say it is the cure all for our issues. Believe me he/ we still have meltdowns and non-successful outings, but its getting better.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Autism

Major has had his autism diagnosis for almost a year now. Over this difficult year I have developed both a love and hate for autism. Below is my list:

Things I love about autism:

1. I love how blatently truthful he can be
2. I love how he does not judge anyone
3. I love how autism has brought groups of people into our lives that would not otherwise been there
4. I love how autism has deepened a relationship with my aunt
5. I love the compassion people show my son

Things I hate about autism:

1. I hate how frustrated he gets and no real way to deal with it
2. I hate how hard he tries to stay on task and focused that he bites himself
3. I hate the fact that he strikes out in violence and then shows no remorse
4. I hate the fact that I have to get very creative in funding most of Major's therapies and interventions
5. I hate that I know several police officers by name because they have had to intervine on my behalf
6. I hate the fact that my son is only 8 but has riden in the back of police cars on several occasions
7. I hate how helpless it makes my son feel
8. I hate how helpless I feel when it comes to helping my son